I didn't go to mass today. In fact, I haven't been to mass for three Sundays now. It's not mere laziness. More accurately, it's not laziness at all. It's me preventing myself from being disrespectful. Before my non-mass Sundays, I'd go to mass and then be too weak to prevent my mind from wandering off to the most inappropriate places. And I didn't like that. I know what the celebration of the Eucharist is - 13 years of Christian Living Education classes at Assumption College and 12 units of Theology at the Ateneo have taught me that much. If I can't treat the mystery of the anamnesis with the reverence it deserves, then I figure that I shouldn't be there.
My future spiritual advisor will have to help me fix this. I don't like it at all.
I saw "Darwin's Nightmare" last Friday. Wow, wow, wow. I find it amazing how Hubert Sauper used real-life events and scenes to tell the story. That's what a documentary's supposed to do, I know, but Yulie Gerstel didn't do that in her two films, "My Land Zion" and "My Terrorist," which I also saw here. In this film, my skepticism about the guy behind the camera was totally suspended for the duration of the film. When the film ended, it came crawling back, but I think that's just because it was me.
Here are some scenes from the film:
The film made me ask myself a lot of questions about myself, my country, and my life. It made me feel extremely stupid, that's what. I want to save the world, but I don't know how to. And I'd like to think that I know something about life because I'm pursuing a doctorate here, but that film made me realize that I don't know a thing. It's just like the whole debate experience, when I didn't know jack about world events, and when my partner/s would have to fill me in so I could argue. It was perfectly fine then, because I could still build decent and ocassionally kick-ass cases using reason. But this is real life now, and I'm beginning to realize that ignorance isn't funny anymore.
I can't save a world I don't know. The quest for knowledge begins.
I was planning on writing about some of the issues raised by the film, but Sweet Soul is doing its job, and I'm so sleepy and tired right now. Sigh. I lack the discipline to be a serious writer. In time, I'll crack that cookie. But right now, it's time to sleep. I'm saying good night and going. And if you got the Imogen Heap reference, you're cool.
4 comments:
i actually feel the same way about going to mass. and yeah, instead of being in church but having your mind wandering somewhere else, not going at all sounds like the more sensible course of action.
what are you going to do during the holy week? is it even a holiday there?
i got the reference, but i didn't need that to confirm that i'm cool. anyway, nakakainggit that you're watching all of those interesting things. here, i only have the option of watching a predictable dingdong-iza movie called moments of love. can you think of anything more repulsive? on the other hand, i won't need to go into a cinema to see sights like those you posted...
btw, it's nice to see you partying and having fun. it's about time. when you get back, im going to expect a full-on live dance sequence a la Mimi, sans the skimpy costume, k?
hey camille, just wanna say hi and i love the U.S.!
Carl: I was planning to do another three-night party marathon, but I realized that I couldn't very well do that from Holy Thursday to Good Friday to Black Saturday, now could I? Sigh. And oh yeah, it's a holiday here - four-day weekend, no classes from Friday to Monday. Haha, here pa. :) What're you up to?
CL: Dingdong-Iza? Eeeyuck, di sila bagay! Haha, just kidding - ginagaya ko lang si Cathy (Cathy, just kidding!). Yes, I know what you mean about the sights. Oh, Manila. Re the dance, hahaha, I'll do it, no problem. It's going to cost you though. ;)
Kit: Hey, how are you?! Haven't heard from you in the longest time! You should update your blog more. I super miss your entries.
Post a Comment