10/22/2005

Hibernating and Singing

I am standing on the thin line that separates slight restlessness from calmness. I'm in my room, my sounds are turned up, I'm ignoring all things legal, and I'm writing down whatever comes to mind. This is a pretty good place to be, and I think I shall park myself here for a while.

* * *

So the fall break comes to a close. I wish it could go on for just a few days more, but I guess it's best that it ends now. I did my fair share of hibernation this week. I need to hibernate a lot to stay sane. And I don't mean this in the sleeping way, although, of course, lots of sleep is an essential part of it. I like traveling to Dreamland, and that's one place you can't visit if you're awake. I mean hibernation in the being alone way, with good music, books, and writing paraphernalia. When I was in Manila, I could spend hours and even days all alone in my room. I'd watch TV for a while, then read, then write, then think, then do the whole thing over again. It's the same thing here. In that regard, nothing has changed.

* * *

Because of fall break, my sleeping schedule has naturalized. And that's not really a good thing. If I weren't a social being or if the world revolved around me, I'd start my days at 1 PM and end them at 3 AM. Maybe I'll do that when I get a bit older and have money to burn and power to wield. But right now, I guess I'll have to exert some effort to be normal.

Earlier today, I got in bed at around 1 AM. I was hoping I'd sleep right away, but I stayed awake for a while. As I spend a whole lot of time in the library here, I started thinking about my library days in the Ateneo. See, while most people would hang out at their benches or org rooms, my course friends and I would stay at the Rizal Library.

Three things, in particular, came to mind:

1) Cokelover, Richard, and I were in the Filipiana section. Cokelover had just gotten his laptop, and we were taking turns listening to music through the headphones. And then it was Richard's turn. When he had put the headphones on, Cokelover turned the volume all the way up, and Richard roared, "Hoy, ano ba?!" People turned to look, and the librarian with the moustache and the big eyes was so scandalized that he was turning maroon. And I folded my arms on the table and put my head there, but not before I saw Cokelover shaking with laughter and Richard smiling brightly at everyone looking at him, as though to assure them that, yes, he had been possessed by an evil spirit but that he was fine now.

2) Richard, Comic, and I were in the second floor, reviewing for an accounting long test. Richard went to the bathroom and told Comic and me to watch his laptop. His table was about a foot away from ours. A few minutes after he had left, his laptop started belting out the Marimar theme song. People were starting to look and point and snicker. Comic and I looked at each other, and then I looked at my accounting book and shook my head and bit my lip. After glaring at me for a while and jerking her head pointedly towards music table, Comic got up and started jabbing at Richard's keyboard, trying to get it to stop, but it wouldn't. And finally, Richard came, and Thalia's concert ended.

3) Cokelover, Comic, Caro, and I were in the third floor library one afternoon. We were the only ones there. Then Richard came up carrying a box of chocolate cupcakes. "Oh, friends, kuha kayo!" So, of course, we crowded around the box and picked our cupcakes. Just when I was about to put my cupcake into my mouth, I saw the librarian walking towards us. I said, "Oh," and carefully returned the cupcake to the box, as did all of my other friends. We did it very seriously, as though the cupcakes were floating around and we had taken it upon ourselves to rid the library of stray food. The librarian said something, and we nodded meekly, and then she turned away, and we packed our things quickly and rushed out of there before she remembered that she was supposed to get out ID's.

* * *

And since I started thinking about funny things, I went all the way back to fourth year high school, when Jac and I watched "Hamlet" together. I was and am a big fan of theater, and I was looking forward to watching this play, as we were studying the book, and I identified so closely with Hamlet that I felt like I was his female reincarnation. Anyway, it was time for the "Oh that this too, too sullied flesh" speech, which is supposed to be anguished and impassioned.

I leaned forward in my chair and gazed intently at the actor. He paused for a moment, and then started singing an impromptu song - "Oh - oh - ohhhhh", each syllable about an octave higher and a few seconds longer than the last, complete with oscillating notes. I froze. And then I glanced at Jac who was already smirking and shaking. I slumped back in my chair and covered my mouth and then my face. I was laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe, and, since I didn't want to make a sound, I think I was close to hyperventilating. People started to notice Jac and I writhing in our seats, and I tried but probably failed to look as though I were crying because I was so moved by the actor's delivery. I wanted to crawl out of the theater, but I couldn't do that cause we were near the front. Those were the most mortifying moments of my life. I felt like Hamlet had betrayed me.

* * *

Because I started thinking of singing, I remembered the concert that Miyan gave during the fourth year retreat in Baguio. For our retreat, the whole class stayed in one big room that had steel bunk beds lined up in two rows with a makeshift corridor in between. Lights-out was 10 PM, I think, so we were all in the room. And then Miyan got up and started singing "On My Own" from Les Miserables, which we were studying at that time. She was swinging from bedpost to bedpost and sometimes dropping to the floor and lamenting there for dramatic effect. All of us were watching her and cheering her on. And then the silhouette of Mrs. Yoro appeared at the doorway, and Miyan dove in someone's bed, and we all slammed our heads back onto our pillows and closed our eyes almost gently when the lights were turned on.

* * *

Before I forget, I saw a piglet lurking near the Center, which is like the village office where I live. Or maybe it was a baby wombat. I also saw a fat black cat a few days back. And, of course, the squirrels and I are friends, even if I step on their food everyday. But I still don't mind the chipmunks because they look like mice, and the spiders and worms here are just gross. But yeah, animal farm, much? Holy cow.

* * *

More funny memories are coming to mind, but I'm tired of sitting down. And this is the part where I curl up in my bed and laugh by myself before going to sleep.

* * *

Next morning question: Does someone know whether oolong leaves grow after they've been dumped in hot water? My flatmate gave me some last night, and I didn't finish the tea, so I left it in the fridge. I heated it up this morning and, aba, the leaves increased in both size and number! If this keeps up, I think I'll have an oolong bonsai by tomorrow.

10/09/2005

Tonight

I have a phone, I have a phone card, I'm ready to call, but the Philippines is asleep.

What a day. I started with light music - Hootie and the Blowfish, Goo Goo Dolls, Gin Blossoms, and John Mayer, got into pop - Kelly and Justin (Letters to Cleo, Marion Raven, and Lindsay Lohan would also have fitted my mood then), drifted into classical for a while, and then ended up with Linkin Park. Don't ask me why, please. I do not have time to speculate on one of the greatest mysteries of the universe.

If the trip to Manila took just five minutes, I would be very happy.

You guys have to see 2046. I watched it last Friday with friends from school. It's amazing. I want to write a screenplay like that one day. And I will.

Hay, enough. My journal is jealous because this blog is getting more and more personal. I guess I'll have to make some adjustments there. I'm thinking of turning this into a study aid. I think I'd have fun writing it that way, even if it won't be about me so much. That was, after all, the plan. But we'll see.

Next soundrack? Broadway, this time. Les Miserables. On my Own. Play

Epilogue:
I capped this evening with a mass. The girl who led the choir had the clearest and strongest voice I have ever heard, and I felt like the Gospel had been written specifically for me. I'm calmer now and ready to face what I know will be a challenging week.

I love the Lord.